#anglemom – Looking for my happy to follow!

Blog

Writing from my journals.

Posted on June 12, 2022June 12, 2022 by Leah

My dream is to write a book about my journal writings beginning 6 months after losing my son Dustin & now to present since losing my daughter Allison in 2017. All the losses in my life surrounding their deaths. The divorces, the abuse, my children having issues with me as a bereaved momma that made a lot of bad choices, I have a lot to share or write about.

I won’t directly write from my journals, but they will be the focal point of my writing. Losing two children has affected my memory as of now. I feel as I heal my mind will come back together. The grief has been intense, and I’ve gained a lot of anger through the years.

I also thought about doing Patreon for a subscription fee of 3.00 a month while I write each chapter through that platform and later condense to a book, this way I can start without the time involved in publishing a book.

I wrote a blog earlier about Allison & how she came to be. This is a page from my journal where I was praying that I could have my tubes untied & have another baby.

My latest TikTok about how to write from my journals.

Thank you for reading. Suggestions & comments are welcome if you would be able to guide me in this process.

Leah

Allison, Blog, Dustin, Lessons from God, Trauma

Yelling

Posted on June 5, 2022 by Leah

I saw this on Twitter today & I had to save this to an image. I needed to see this. 84 likes so far. I don’t like yelling & talking loud. This is what my anger from my grief has done to me. I’m praying for healing. I do also plan on going back to my first GriefShare group I attended in February 2015. I’m also talking to a few close friends that are helping me.

Blog, Lessons from God, Video Journals

I’m back in Georgia & this is where God wants me.

Posted on May 22, 2022June 5, 2022 by Leah

My TikTok video explaining why I moved back to Georgia. Where I first lived in Georgia at 25 years old in 1986.

TikTok video link to my page.

On April 24, 2022 I moved back to Georgia. I transferred to the Food Lion in Springfield, GA. The same county I lived in when I first moved to Georgia when I was 25 In 1986. Butch & I started our family there and that is where Dustin is buried. I will be buried by Dustin.

I sense that God wanted to bring me back to where all my grief & anger started after Dustin’s death. I have so much to deal with and face. I will be going back to my first church there near where I use to live in Griffin Lakes, Guyton, Ga.

I’ve had a lot of adjusting to do with bringing Willa, my youngest daughter Taylor’s dog, into my life. I’ve never been a dog mom. I am trying my best through mistakes & learning from them. The gas prices are high & it seems I only go to work and come home. My longtime friends Dacia & Damien has provided an RV Camper for me to live in.

My second daughter Paige & her family is only 30 minutes from me and now I get to spend more time with my two grandchildren Sawyer (6) and Fynleigh (3, born on my birthday).

Since I’ve been here Butch, and our marriage has been on my mind a lot. I’m remembering what caused the divorce and how there were some things I wish could of been different. I also remember how he hindered my grief and kept me stuck while I was crying out for help, not only with my husband but also with my pastor & church family. I feel like no one listened. No one really cared about me, they tolerated me because they liked Butch. When you’re alone in your grief & pain and everyone avoids you your mind thinks the most negative things. That’s the stuff that’s in my mind.

Work is going the best it can while we are in a food crisis. Everyone is on edge & worried. I’m trying to keep them informed if they would listen. No one wants to listen when the world is falling apart in front of them. It’s so sad.

Love to my readers.

Leah; June 5, 2022

Video Journals

When We Fall Apart

Posted on July 21, 2021July 21, 2021 by Leah

youtube.com/watch

I Will write soon about how this video/song makes me feel.

“The only way to heal a broken heart is when we fall apart”

I’ve been a mess for a long time after losing Dustin in 1989. Then 28 years later, after having the last 4 years with Allison before her life ended in 2017. She was so hurt & traumatized by the results of my divorce from her father & his way of hurting me back was to spitefully use the girls against me. Allison made amends when she learned the true story after being surrounded by lies in her childhood. She had to experience some of the things I did to truly understand & make amends. We were so happy together & when we were not with each other she would call & have long chats about her life, my life & the best of all: conspiracy theories. She was so smart! I miss her terribly.