Today would have been Allison’s 31st birthday! I miss her so much!
She was so beautiful. A natural country girl. Sometimes she was “girly girly” but mostly a natural beauty without even trying.
She always wanted to spend time with me. Out of all my daughters she begged for me the most. What happened between us was a lifetime of pain. Misunderstanding that put her in the crossfire with the divorce of her dad. Out of spite he stole her from me. She misunderstood that I abandoned her. The position that “spitefully using the children” against the other parent causes mental issues for the child. Her dad also took her older sister too. They moved to Alabama while I stayed in Georgia. Her dad was supposed to stay in Georgia until Allison was eighteen & graduated from high school. She was supposed to grow up with both parents with only a county apart at the most from each other. Yeah, Divorce sucks & ruins the children the most. I got Paige back within a couple of years, but he would not give Allison back. I begged and begged. I did not have the money to get a lawyer & pursue my rights. To me it was very evil to spitefully use children against each other in a divorce. Children should have both parents.
I was also in a sense emotionally checked out because of losing Dustin at 4 months old two years before Allison’s birth. My girls grew up with a mom grieving the hell out of her baby and wanting to die. With this mindset my former husband was able to take full advantage of me while grieving and I did not know my rights that were hidden from me during our fast 30-day divorce in Georgia. I was robbed of our two daughters, and in my grief I could not think clearly. In 1994 when we divorced, I had no counseling for losing Dustin. That is another chapter to be written later.
Allison & I were able to work everything out 5 years before her death. After she was a mom and faced divorce. I feel like a failure so much because maybe if I wouldn’t have divorced her dad, she would have had a much much better life. This is my regret the most for Allison.